Cognitive Distortion- All or Nothing Thinking
As humans, we engage in all kinds of cognitive activities, we have the ability to think, memorize, the ability to problem solving, decision making. We, of all other living and breathing organisms, have remarkable abilities, the most evolved brains. But as evolved and intricate our brains are, the more it is complex and and susceptible to certain errors. Right, obviously, our ideas, beliefs, overall thinking is perhaps flawed in its own little ways, known as cognitive distortions. There are many kinds of cognitive distortions, but the most common of them would be all-or-nothing thinking. That is, we tend to see the world as black or white, evil or good, progress or devastation, well, most of the time.
Think about it, what is the pattern of your thinking? Either your day was good, or it was bad, you’re either successful, or failure, talking about forming inferences, a person is either good or bad. We have a tendency to think in extremes, either this, or that.
But why does it matter? And how does it affect your life and on what terms?
Think about it for a moment, the more we attempt to think life in all-or-nothing basis, the unhappier or unsatisfactory we tend to become. We expect in extremes, how are we supposed to feel content if we fall any short of what we expected. Take this example, a student worked very hard for his main examinations, he set a target, above 80% and he was pretty confident as he studied really hard, he put in a lot of efforts, but, somehow, after the results came out, his was 75%. Now, what according to you will be his thought pattern. Obviously, it most likely will be ‘I’m a failure’. Now, disappointment is justified, but what most commonly happens is, the thinking tends to reach the extreme levels, and those thinking patterns causes us more harm than good. Even if there was only 5% of a gap till the target he had set, his self esteem was still not left unharmed.
Now, this need not be the case with everybody obviously, we tend to think in our own unique ways, keeping in mind, our own priorities.
Getting on with another example, it is the quarantine period going on, most of us, especially the students would be looking forward to hone their preferred skills. We would not want to let go off of this time without taking advantage of it. With an impressive amount of time on our hands, we expect ourselves to get the better out and upgrade our skills. But what if that is not the case with you, or me? We are just lying around, binge watching netflix, trying, but not really meeting our expectations to grow ourselves? Most of the people’s responses would be that they feel guilt, or like a failure, just because they couldn’t meet the expectations they’ve set for themselves by their own selves. And vice versa, if you’re doing your best, meeting your expectations to be productive in this time. Well, that’s great, I am happy for you, your anxiety is in check. But if you don’t refer to yourself as the productive ones. That’s okay too. Stop trying to push yourself that hard.
Well, have you ever been on a diet? Has it ever happened to you that you were following the proper diet, and for once, you gave in to desire and had a, say a piece of cake. Did you consider your diet a failure for that particular day? It would have happened. Do you really think a piece of cake ruined all your hardwork for that day? I don’t think so.
The point is, we tend to see the world as black or white, we forget there’s grey too. We don’t have to be either a success or a failure, we can be none and be content. A bridge of 5% marks, a couple of non- productive days, and single piece of cake doesn’t point in direction of you being a failure. Recognizing these flaws in our thinking is the primary step, then identifying them in the time of need and implementing change is secondary. There’s no typical sense of success or failure, good or bad, it all lies in our ability to perceive the world. And the time we eliminate this all-or-nothing thinking, life becomes easier and certainly makes more sense.
